A Version of Success
For my first medium article, I thought I would introduce myself to readers and share a bit of the quirky, exciting, and dangerous journey on which I have been traveling. I hope to inspire readers to be the best version of themselves. That is what I am aiming for with myself.
I grew up in West Virginia, that beautiful state that sometimes deservedly gets a bad rap. It’s ok. We are the butt of late-night talk show jokes, but most of us love it here and couldn’t care less how the outside world sees us. Even the local news looks for the nearest toothless grammatically inept disheveled passerby to make official statements on the latest happenings. They are just doing their part to ensure our legacy.
We mountaineers have adjusted to the role of underdog. Some of us thrive on it. We have produced some of the finest athletes, coaches, actors, and musicians (Jerry West, Randy Moss, Mary Lou Retton, Lou Holtz, Nick Saban, Jennifer Garner, Don Knotts, Prad Paisley, and Bill Withers, to name a few). We also rank near the bottom in categories like poverty, drug abuse and obesity. (We are always thankful for Mississippi when those dreadful lists come out). Yet, we disproportionately have those who rise above the hills and march forward with great success.
What does it mean to have success in life? I grew up with a line of successful men on both sides of my family — businessmen, ministers, presidents of community organizations, a state senator, and even a golden gloves boxing champ. I would go out and hear stories about their successes and often feel pressure to do something really big with my life. How did that pan out? I have learned that success is a very relative term.
I have been very driven in life and have successfully done some interesting things — like earn a teaching doctorate, write a couple books, run a couple small non-profits, fill a pulpit in a small Presbyterian church, and learn to play and teach several instruments. I also struggled with a drug problem when I was younger, continue to manage severe ADHD, and still not sure what I want to do when I “grow up.” I am in my 40’s. I am driven, but not focused.
I could have gone either way. Had I not had solid family roots and a praying mother, I might have ended up being one of the statistics that plunge our state to the lower social ranks. It pains me to see the drug epidemic throughout this great land. I cannot judge those people. I have cousins who struggle. I have known people who have died from overdoses. None of them set out in life to be an addict.
So here I am, typing this article. I am still grieving the loss of my daughter, who passed away in 2020 from complications related to a rare illness. My mind skips around to a dozen different things that need done around the house. I have online projects to complete. My eyes wander to the trees just outside my window and I wonder if this warm weather will result in a premature end to my ski season. I remind myself that I need to pick up my son from school later. I admire my wife for her ability to teach 4th graders each day.
I have never had a “job” more than six consecutive years. Right now, I wear many hats. I do not fit into anyone’s definition of “normal.” Yet, I am content with who I have become. For some people, success is about riches and fame. For others it is about achieving certain career related goals in life. Here in West Viriginia, some of us might find triumph in living a simple life and holding a simple job. I cannot relate to any of those measures of success; yet, I believe I have found my own version. I triumph in seeking peace in the midst of turmoil; I value friends, family, and faith; I hope to inspire those within my sphere of influence to find their own version of success.